Darkness is where we need light, and where we eventually find it.
This is the post excerpt.
‘Pain that came from hope, and hope that came from a belief of happy endings.’
Growing up, we have all listened to stories and watched movies that used to have happy endings. “And they lived happily ever after.” We have seen how the princess is in trouble, but the prince comes and saves the day, and they both fall in love, get married and promise to love each other forever.
When I was a little girl, I used to love the thought of ‘forever.’ It provided a guarantee that the happiness and the perfection of the situation never changed. I used to feel bad when the girl in the story was hurting, not knowing whether it would end happily, and scared that it might not. Especially born and raised in India, Bollywood has made sure that the viewer in not saddened by the ending and that everyone leaves with a smile.
But one day, I was watching a romantic movie and I realised that I was no longer afraid that the situation for the girl as well as the boy was not good, because I had this unknown surety in me that everything will be fine and that they would end up together; that all the problems would be resolved and they would get to be together. But why and how was I so sure? It was then, at that very moment that I realised what it would be like to not have a happy ending. Would it still be called a movie?
I wondered and wondered about it, and I was surprised at how sad it made me just to think that a thing like ‘unhappy ending’ might exist. Why? Of course because of the way I was brought up, the way we all are, believing that all in life either is or will be good.
Now, I look around myself and I see so many ‘unhappy endings.Hearts getting broken, faith shaken, trust broken and pain being carried around by everyone; pain, that came from hope, and hope that came from a belief of ‘happy endings.’ I am not trying to imply that there are no happy endings. That would be an incorrect assessment. I am only emphasising that every story does not necessarily have a happy ending, everyone isn’t as lucky to spend a lifetime with their beloved, situations aren’t that simple, and the solution isn’t always in front of you. Sometimes, you get to live the other story; a story where everything is not fine, and where you have to live with that.
All of this is also not to imply that we can’t be happy. Happiness does not depend on our situation, it depends on us, it depends on how ready we are to face the worst of situations, fail, rise and still smile. But you must note, you create your own happiness, it isn’t served to you on a plate.
So, do you have it in you to see the good in the bad?
Remember when you used to be a small kid, and every night before sleeping you wanted to listen to a story? Remember wanting to be a part of those stories, imagining yourself in the world of fairies and dragons and chocolate houses? Of course you do. It was the best of your childhood, because you got a chance to imagine yourself in another world, you got a chance to feel magical, and a chance to be someone else.
Reading is just the same for me. A book is my escape from reality, it is my way of taking a break, and losing myself in another world. Yeah, it may not necessarily have fairies and dragons, but there is a different story always, there are different characters, different situations and plots, and to be able to imagine yourself as a part of those stories
(if only to observe), that, in itself is magic. So yes, the element of magic never really diminishes, and that’s the best part.
Sometimes (for me, most often) we find ourselves relating to fictional characters better than to people in our real lives, and we find ourselves attached more to characters in a story that we won’t ever get to meet more than the people we’ve already met. Some people think that this is sad, I ask why. I feel it’s beautiful to be able to love fictional characters, to be able to love someone you know doesn’t exist and to be able to love someone you’ll never meet. It shows that you are capable of unconditional love, and that, is not sad. It’s actually the opposite of it. A book, is not just a book, it is knowledge, stories, words, everything knitted together elegantly. It is a different world altogether, and taking a trip to another world, living another story for a while is sometimes all that you really need.
So, take a book, any book. Open it, read and enjoy.
Equality. Does this word only have a political meaning? Equal right, equal treatment, are these the only things this word is limited to?
Democratic countries claim to have equality within their nations, and they claim to provide equal treatment to all. In other words, they claim that citizens of their countries are treated as equals in all respects. This might be true for some countries, but it is not true for all of those who claim the above.
Here, I stand to say that many countries in the world that make such claims do not stand upto them. Or at least the people of those countries don’t. I am stating this in context to the LGBT community. LGBT, the community of Lesbians, Gay people, Bisexual people and Transgenders, is a very famous communtiy that exists to support the rights of such people. While this is a beautiful initiative to support those in minority in terms of their sexuality, at the same time, some people choose to not accept a community or ideas of such a community simply because they think it is not ‘natural.’
On 26th June 2015, the United States of America took a bold step to support the LGBT community. It ruled that any kind of ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, and hence, legalised same-sex marriage. This was the farthest point to which anyone had supported this community. And today, people get to be with whoever they want, not having to worry about getting married if they belong to the same sex. Many people are now not judged for having a sexuality that was not accepted before. But does this mean the problem ends here? The U.S legalised same-sex marriage, but what about other countries?
While the U.S whole-heartedly stands in the favour of this community, many countries don’t. And it is not the government that I mean to refer to. The government is the next level. I am referring to people, and the views and opinions they hold regarding this community. As sad as it is, even today, there are many countries in which it is the people themselves who do not support such ideas. Some people don’t simply not support the idea of this community, but they also oppose it.
Me, I am a true supporter. But this does not mean that I’ll be willing to argue with someone who doesn’t promote the values of this community. They have the right to hold their opinion and I am no one to stop them from having those views. But those who oppose, those who interfere in the lives of such people, those who harm such people, verbally or physically just for being different, they have no right to do so. Nobody can take the freedom of others, or harm others on the claim that what they do or the ideals they promote are not ‘natural.’
In many countries today, gay people, lesbians, transgenders, bisexuals feel ashamed of accepting this truth about themselves? Why? Why is it that when they discover their sexuality as being different, the first thought that comes to their mind is that of panic? It is because of the people. It is because of us, and the ideals we promote, the ideals that alienate such people from the human community, the ideals that even make people hate themselves for being different. Why do people have to make such people feel abnormal?
As a fear of not being accepted in the society if the truth came out, many people keep it to themselves, some refuse to accept and the stress that it puts on them is severe. Imagine being in a place where you are not considered a human just because you are not exactly like the others.
It is not them who have to change, it is us. It is not our ideals that humiliate them that should be promoted, it is theirs who make the world a better place, and attempt to harmonise everyone and give everyone the freedom to choose who they wish to be, regardless of the fact that they are of the same sex or not.
Let us be truly equal, let us promote equality and not de-humanise such people. Let us change, because in the end, it is our thinking that matters.
Many of us aspire to become writers. Many of us do become writers. It is always said that to be a good writer, you need to have a deep understanding of everything around you and you need to be able to express it beautifully in writing. Any one who understands the meaning of the world, and the depth of life but is not able to express it, or any one who can write but does not truly understand the depth of everything cannot be called a good writer. This is what I’ve been told, and I believe it to be true. A good writer comes with the entire package.
But this does not mean that a good writer does not face any challenges. Sometimes, a writer might get an urge to write something, anything, but he/she in not quite able to figure out what to write on. Or sometimes, in the middle of a story, a writer might get stuck trying to figure out where to take the story, because nothing is coming to his/her mind. This is writer’s block. It is a condition, one where a writer is not able to pen down his/her thoughts, and is not able to put forth their true expression about something. It is a documented problem.
Many professional writers have been a victim of this condition. These include Joseph Mitchell, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Herman Melville.
I can only imagine how frustrating it might be to have so much to say and so much to express, but not being able to do it. It would be like wanting to sing but being unable to produce a single sound. Although many causes of this condition exist, which include lack of internal as well as external motivation, failure in relationships, stress, physical deterioration, lack of inspiration, there are many treatments as well, some as simple as group discussions, brainstorming, clustering and some as complicated as writing questions for a writer to enable their writing expression to flow.
Writer’s block is a serious condition, and it is not to be considered failing to understand what to write on on one, maybe two occasions. That is natural. Writer’s block is a rather prolonged problem, which can ruin the careers of the most popular writers if not attended to in time.
One question that I’ve always found to bother me is who is stronger, the one who keeps holding on tightly, in the name of hope, or the one who lets everything go, not knowing what lies ahead.
I mean to address this question in context to life and death, or rather continuing to live, or committing suicide. Suicide, is a word that is not so uncommon these days. Why? It is because our lives have become so complex and situations tend to get out of control. But wait, is it that our lives have become complex, or that we have made them?
In today’s first moving world, the biggest driving or motivating force is competing. It is a natural desire within all of us to be better than the rest, to be the best and beat everybody else. This being the biggest driving force is so commonly found everywhere, you would find competition between kids belonging to 1st grade, because we are taught from the very beginning that this world is competitive. It is, and it’s not a bad thing that it is. It should be, but to that extent where the minds of people get so pressurised that they feel ending their lives is the only way out? Certainly not.
Getting back to the question, when things get out of hand, when we are in a situation from which it is getting harder and harder to escape, should we choose to not give up and keep looking, or should we choose to end it all at once? Which option makes us stronger? To be honest, I’ve felt that both of these options require a huge amount of courage. Trying to make things better, to make them work and having faith and hope in various complex situations that life puts in front of us requires just as much strenght and courage as deciding to quit, and to end everything. After all, we are afraid of death just as much as we are afraid of living.
Both of these being equally courageous decisions for me does not mean that I am promoting suicide, or asking people to let go if that is what they feel like. I am just trying to express my disbelief in the statement “People who commit suicide are cowardly.” How can this statement be true, or false? Who are we to have opinion about a situation that we weren’t even in? Nobody. So, how can we say that they are cowardly? Have we been there? No.
As easy as an answer it may seem to the complexity of life, it is not. It never was.
Yes, I agree that there are many times in our lives when we want to give up, but all I want to say is that is not the only option we have. In all the situations, no matter how grave, there is always a way out. It takes a while to find that way, but believe me, it is always there, and it always has been. You just need to be patient enough. Because there is always a bright day around the corner, there is always a chance of rainbow showing itself after a massive storm. There is always hope.
But of course, people think differently. If you have any opinions that you would like to share, please feel free to leave a comment.
Hope, what is it?