The Window

“The water droplets on this window remind me it is okay to cry.”

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I look out a window, and I hope to find you;

The window, my only hope.

When it’s dark, the sun passes through this very window to light up the room, and me,

When it’s cold, the warmth of the sunlight reaches me only because of this window.

When it’s sunny, the window opens to let me experience the slightest of joy,

When it rains, the water droplets on this window remind me it is okay to cry.

This window, it is my only hope.

 

I look out a window, and I hope to find you,

Walking somewhere outside on the street someday,

Walking among the crowd, searching for me, just as I search for you, everyday.

This window, I hope you recognize it as mine;

My savior, my companion, and my support.

I hope you recognize it, just as I do, and I hope you know where to come.

I hope you look at this window, just as I do, and walk straight in.

 

This window, it’s always here,

Summer, monsoon, winter, autumn,

It stands right here, upright and aware.

It knows everything, it sees everyone, this window,

and it waits for you too.

Panting in summer, shivering in winter, cherishing the rain, and playing with the snowflakes, someday, it might just see you.

 

I look out a window and I hope to find you;

this window, my only hope.

 

 

THE NIGHT SKY

“Tonight, the love affair is between you and that sky.”

You are standing on top of a hill. It’s night time, and the sky is dark and beautiful. There are millions of stars that you can’t stop looking at. As you stare into the beautiful night sky, you realize how easily you can keep looking at it forever, how you never really want to take your eyes off it. You find a patch of grass, and it smells fresh. You sit down, still staring.
When you look into the unending sky, you can’t help but smile at how irrelevant your problems seem at the moment. It’s completely quiet, and the dark sky with stars like silver jewels on it makes you wonder into everything that you otherwise couldn’t. You know that as you keep looking, something starts to feel better.
You experience solace, a feeling of contentment. You don’t think about the assignment you have to turn in next week and didn’t even start working on, you don’t think about how your social life is deteriorating because you just can’t be around people anymore, and you don’t think of the person who broke every inch of you, tore right through your heart, and destroyed you completely. No. Tonight, it is just you and the beautiful dark sky with a million stars. The poems tonight are not going to be about how your soul feels empty as the one you loved left you heartbroken; they are going to be about how magnificent the sky is, how you wish to embrace it, and never let it out of your sight. Tonight, the love affair is between you and that sky. You think of nothing else, and no one else.
As you continue staring into the vast sky, you begin wondering. About life, about yourself. You think of how you ended up where you are, what went wrong, what could have been done to fix it. You are thinking everything you think everyday, but something is different about tonight. Despite endless nights of thinking there is no escape from this dark tunnel you seem to have lost yourself in, you now see a light. You don’t conclude in despair, and hopelessness, tonight is about hope. If these stars can manage to shine this bright every night, and bring beauty to an otherwise empty sky, you can surely find an exit to your dark tunnel. The exit doesn’t have to be big, even a small escape would do, because you now believe you can leave. You now believe that there can be an end to those sleepless nights where you end up loathing everything about yourself, where you can’t stop feeling that you’re just not doing enough, where you can’t stop wondering just how lifeless you have become. Looking at the sky, you know there is more to it than surviving. There’s living. At this point, you think of things you have to look forward to, slowly letting go of the past that haunts you. You feel yourself moving away from the chains you thought you could never let go of. You keeping moving farther and farther away from those chains, as you keep wondering.
And there it is. That one moment. The moment that practically changes every thought you had about your life. In this moment, everything is so clear to you that tears start to well up in your eyes, for you had longed for this moment for years. You cry also at how silly you were to think everything in your life was just plain gray, without color. And then you smile, and now you know. Everything in your life that felt like a tornado ready to destroy you anytime, dies down, and now you know.
As you reach that light you were chasing at the end of the tunnel, you realize that this night might end, but your affair with this night sky is going to last forever. You smile, because everything is now so peaceful, and you simply close your eyes, and lie there till the night is gone.

 

 

The Truth

“Life is too short to be sad.” is something we have all been told when we were down. It is something even we say to others so that we can try to make them feel better. But I have a question. Does it really help us feel better? Does it make us feel the situation will improve? Honestly, it makes me feel worse. Because it implies that life is already too short, and even in my short time, I get sadness. That is how it is supposed to feel, but then that feeling should drive you to get out of the situation and make yourself happy; seize the day, so to say. But that does not happen for me. I don’t feel the urge to smile because life’s too short to be sad. I feel the urge to cry that my short time as a human being is not good, and is instead filled with sorrow.
This is something we may all have pondered over at some point in our lives. But have we ever acted on it? No. We are saddened, disgusted even, on how we could say things just to make the other person feel better, things we don’t believe in ourselves, things that don’t make sense to us, things that we would never use for ourselves. We have all had this thought, and yet we go back to doing it again. We say things we don’t really mean; things like “whatever happens, happens for the good” or “this is all happening for a reason.” and of course, the infamous “it will all be okay.” Do we stop to think maybe it won’t be okay; maybe this is how it is supposed to happen, maybe it’s not happening for a reason, maybe it’s just karma? Maybe. Do we even for a second believe what we say? We don’t. We pretend we mean it, and we hope that the other person feels better.
Having been the person on both the sides, the person who said something to someone she didn’t believe, all for the purpose of consoling, and the person being told the stuff to be consoled, I assure you, that is not how it works. You don’t feel better after it. Yeah, you may experience a temporary sense of hope, and that is not all bad, but we end up feeling the same way after a while, don’t we?
This is not to ask you to not console people and not be with them when they need you most, this is just to tell you that even though you mean well, and don’t want to see others in any pain, sugarcoating doesn’t help. The truth is what the truth is. Sometimes, situations are manageable, and things do get better, but that is not always the case, and making someone feel it will be better, or rather assuring them that it will be alright is wrong. Yes, it is wrong. Not because you are ‘speaking against your own beliefs’ or because ‘you are lying’, but because you’re not sure. Because you don’t know.
The thing is, we all want to feel better, even just for a second, and that is all we intend when we say things like these. We try to lighten the pressure on the people we love, but thinking about it, would it not be better to just be honest with them? To tell them it is okay to feel hurt, and to let your guard down; that it is possible things might not work out and that’s okay? Why do we have to rationalize everything, why does everything have to make sense, and why does everything have to work out? No one has a life that can be called perfect, everyone faces problems, so would it not be easier to just accept that things can go wrong? Maybe instead of telling people it will be okay, we tell them whatever happens, we’ll be there for them, by their side, supporting them throughout. We tell them things always go wrong, but they have us; that we will be right there with them.
I don’t think having hope is wrong, and I certainly don’t have any enmity against it, I would just rather people hold my hand and tell me the truth, than say something they don’t feel like saying and hate themselves for it.

Wondering

“Is life everything around us, and love everything within?”

I stand here, and I wonder
what is life, what is love,
is life love? or is love life?
is life everything breathing around us,
and everything in motion,
and love every good feeling?
or is it that life is a heartbeat,
and the thrill it desires,
and love is the ecstasy that fills this very heart?

Is it that life is all those mountains,
and all those oceans,
and love the air between them?
or is it that life is all those buds,
and love what makes them bloom?

Is life me, or is it that tree,
does love exist, or is it another myth,
is life everything around us,
and love everything within?

But then I look at you,
your eyes so mesmerizing,
and your smile so pure,
I see your face, and how serene it is,
I kiss you, and that is when I realize
that my life is your happiness,
and love is what makes you smile.

GOODBYES

Good byes are hard. When it’s a loved one you have to say good-bye to, it’s never easy; because you want them to stay, you want them to not leave. On the inside you’re thinking you should do something, or something should magically happen so that you don’t have to face that harsh moment, and even if it makes you a bit selfish, you’re okay, because at least you get more time with your loved one. Well, that’s okay. Yes, wanting to keep someone to yourself when they wish otherwise is selfish, but you only want them to stay because they matter. And you have no idea how you should tell them to not go, because you just can’t. If the other person had to choose, he would have chosen you a long time ago, and he would not be standing outside your house at the moment. He would be in it, hugging you and promising to you that he’ll never let you go.
But stop. Think. Why should it be hard for you to say good-bye to someone who didn’t choose you; someone who didn’t put you in the first place, like you put him? Why should you be so afraid to live the moment that might as well turn around your entire life for good? They say that in order to get something, you have to lose something. Well, isn’t there a possibility that this is necessary, that experiencing each and every moment of this situation is important, that getting through, powering through will get you exactly where you want to be, and where you were meant to be? It is also said that destiny always takes you right where you are supposed to be. So, if it is destiny that brought you here, it will be destiny that will take you somewhere. So, doesn’t it become important to live through each second of that moment, so that you realize that this is where it all ended, and this is also where it all started. That one good-bye, that one hard, painful moment of good-bye, that loud thunder before the rain; the rain that is a new start, the rain that will make it better, the rain that will beautify every moment hereafter.
So, get up, open that door and see him out. Live every moment as he sits in the car, and drives away. Do not look away, do not break down, for this is how you get through it. This is how you make it.

Happy Endings

‘Pain that came from hope, and hope that came from a belief of happy endings.’

Growing up, we have all listened to stories and watched movies that used to have happy endings. “And they lived happily ever after.” We have seen how the princess is in trouble, but the prince comes and saves the day, and they both fall in love, get married and promise to love each other forever.
When I was a little girl, I used to love the thought of ‘forever.’ It provided a guarantee that the happiness and the perfection of the situation never changed. I used to feel bad when the girl in the story was hurting, not knowing whether it would end happily, and scared that it might not. Especially born and raised in India, Bollywood has made sure that the viewer in not saddened by the ending and that everyone leaves with a smile.

But one day, I was watching a romantic movie and I realised that I was no longer afraid that the situation for the girl as well as the boy was not good, because I had this unknown surety in me that everything will be fine and that they would end up together; that all the problems would be resolved and they would get to be together. But why and how was I so sure? It was then, at that very moment that I realised what it would be like to not have a happy ending. Would it still be called a movie?
I wondered and wondered about it, and I was surprised at how sad it made me just to think that a thing like ‘unhappy ending’ might exist. Why? Of course because of the way I was brought up, the way we all are, believing that all in life either is or will be good.

Now, I look around myself and I see so many ‘unhappy endings.Hearts getting broken, faith shaken, trust broken and pain being carried around by everyone; pain, that came from hope, and hope that came from a belief of ‘happy endings.’ I am not trying to imply that there are no happy endings. That would be an incorrect assessment. I am only emphasising that every story does not necessarily have a happy ending, everyone isn’t as lucky to spend a lifetime with their beloved, situations aren’t that simple, and the solution isn’t always in front of you. Sometimes, you get to live the other story; a story where everything is not fine, and where you have to live with that.

All of this is also not to imply that we can’t be happy. Happiness does not depend on our situation, it depends on us, it depends on how ready we are to face the worst of situations, fail, rise and still smile. But you must note, you create your own happiness, it isn’t served to you on a plate.

So, do you have it in you to see the good in the bad?

Why I Read

Remember when you used to be a small kid, and every night before sleeping you wanted to listen to a story? Remember wanting to be a part of those stories, imagining yourself in the world of fairies and dragons and chocolate houses? Of course you do. It was the best of your childhood, because you got a chance to imagine yourself in another world, you got a chance to feel magical, and a chance to be someone else.
Reading is just the same for me. A book is my escape from reality, it is my way of taking a break, and losing myself in another world. Yeah, it may not necessarily have fairies and dragons, but there is a different story always, there are different characters, different situations and plots, and to be able to imagine yourself as a part of those stories
(if only to observe), that, in itself is magic. So yes, the element of magic never really diminishes, and that’s the best part.
Sometimes (for me, most often) we find ourselves relating to fictional characters better than to people in our real lives, and we find ourselves attached more to characters in a story that we won’t ever get to meet more than the people we’ve already met. Some people think that this is sad, I ask why. I feel it’s beautiful to be able to love fictional characters, to be able to love someone you knowWhat-CEOs-Are-Reading-1536x1536-200_Standard doesn’t exist and to be able to love someone you’ll never meet. It shows that you are capable of unconditional love, and that, is not sad. It’s actually the opposite of it. A book, is not just a book, it is knowledge, stories, words, everything knitted together elegantly. It is a different world altogether, and taking a trip to another world, living another story for a while is sometimes all that you really need.
So, take a book, any book. Open it, read and enjoy.