The Truth

“Life is too short to be sad.” is something we have all been told when we were down. It is something even we say to others so that we can try to make them feel better. But I have a question. Does it really help us feel better? Does it make us feel the situation will improve? Honestly, it makes me feel worse. Because it implies that life is already too short, and even in my short time, I get sadness. That is how it is supposed to feel, but then that feeling should drive you to get out of the situation and make yourself happy; seize the day, so to say. But that does not happen for me. I don’t feel the urge to smile because life’s too short to be sad. I feel the urge to cry that my short time as a human being is not good, and is instead filled with sorrow.
This is something we may all have pondered over at some point in our lives. But have we ever acted on it? No. We are saddened, disgusted even, on how we could say things just to make the other person feel better, things we don’t believe in ourselves, things that don’t make sense to us, things that we would never use for ourselves. We have all had this thought, and yet we go back to doing it again. We say things we don’t really mean; things like “whatever happens, happens for the good” or “this is all happening for a reason.” and of course, the infamous “it will all be okay.” Do we stop to think maybe it won’t be okay; maybe this is how it is supposed to happen, maybe it’s not happening for a reason, maybe it’s just karma? Maybe. Do we even for a second believe what we say? We don’t. We pretend we mean it, and we hope that the other person feels better.
Having been the person on both the sides, the person who said something to someone she didn’t believe, all for the purpose of consoling, and the person being told the stuff to be consoled, I assure you, that is not how it works. You don’t feel better after it. Yeah, you may experience a temporary sense of hope, and that is not all bad, but we end up feeling the same way after a while, don’t we?
This is not to ask you to not console people and not be with them when they need you most, this is just to tell you that even though you mean well, and don’t want to see others in any pain, sugarcoating doesn’t help. The truth is what the truth is. Sometimes, situations are manageable, and things do get better, but that is not always the case, and making someone feel it will be better, or rather assuring them that it will be alright is wrong. Yes, it is wrong. Not because you are ‘speaking against your own beliefs’ or because ‘you are lying’, but because you’re not sure. Because you don’t know.
The thing is, we all want to feel better, even just for a second, and that is all we intend when we say things like these. We try to lighten the pressure on the people we love, but thinking about it, would it not be better to just be honest with them? To tell them it is okay to feel hurt, and to let your guard down; that it is possible things might not work out and that’s okay? Why do we have to rationalize everything, why does everything have to make sense, and why does everything have to work out? No one has a life that can be called perfect, everyone faces problems, so would it not be easier to just accept that things can go wrong? Maybe instead of telling people it will be okay, we tell them whatever happens, we’ll be there for them, by their side, supporting them throughout. We tell them things always go wrong, but they have us; that we will be right there with them.
I don’t think having hope is wrong, and I certainly don’t have any enmity against it, I would just rather people hold my hand and tell me the truth, than say something they don’t feel like saying and hate themselves for it.
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Wondering

“Is life everything around us, and love everything within?”

I stand here, and I wonder
what is life, what is love,
is life love? or is love life?
is life everything breathing around us,
and everything in motion,
and love every good feeling?
or is it that life is a heartbeat,
and the thrill it desires,
and love is the ecstasy that fills this very heart?

Is it that life is all those mountains,
and all those oceans,
and love the air between them?
or is it that life is all those buds,
and love what makes them bloom?

Is life me, or is it that tree,
does love exist, or is it another myth,
is life everything around us,
and love everything within?

But then I look at you,
your eyes so mesmerizing,
and your smile so pure,
I see your face, and how serene it is,
I kiss you, and that is when I realize
that my life is your happiness,
and love is what makes you smile.

GOODBYES

Good byes are hard. When it’s a loved one you have to say good-bye to, it’s never easy; because you want them to stay, you want them to not leave. On the inside you’re thinking you should do something, or something should magically happen so that you don’t have to face that harsh moment, and even if it makes you a bit selfish, you’re okay, because at least you get more time with your loved one. Well, that’s okay. Yes, wanting to keep someone to yourself when they wish otherwise is selfish, but you only want them to stay because they matter. And you have no idea how you should tell them to not go, because you just can’t. If the other person had to choose, he would have chosen you a long time ago, and he would not be standing outside your house at the moment. He would be in it, hugging you and promising to you that he’ll never let you go.
But stop. Think. Why should it be hard for you to say good-bye to someone who didn’t choose you; someone who didn’t put you in the first place, like you put him? Why should you be so afraid to live the moment that might as well turn around your entire life for good? They say that in order to get something, you have to lose something. Well, isn’t there a possibility that this is necessary, that experiencing each and every moment of this situation is important, that getting through, powering through will get you exactly where you want to be, and where you were meant to be? It is also said that destiny always takes you right where you are supposed to be. So, if it is destiny that brought you here, it will be destiny that will take you somewhere. So, doesn’t it become important to live through each second of that moment, so that you realize that this is where it all ended, and this is also where it all started. That one good-bye, that one hard, painful moment of good-bye, that loud thunder before the rain; the rain that is a new start, the rain that will make it better, the rain that will beautify every moment hereafter.
So, get up, open that door and see him out. Live every moment as he sits in the car, and drives away. Do not look away, do not break down, for this is how you get through it. This is how you make it.

Happy Endings

‘Pain that came from hope, and hope that came from a belief of happy endings.’

Growing up, we have all listened to stories and watched movies that used to have happy endings. “And they lived happily ever after.” We have seen how the princess is in trouble, but the prince comes and saves the day, and they both fall in love, get married and promise to love each other forever.
When I was a little girl, I used to love the thought of ‘forever.’ It provided a guarantee that the happiness and the perfection of the situation never changed. I used to feel bad when the girl in the story was hurting, not knowing whether it would end happily, and scared that it might not. Especially born and raised in India, Bollywood has made sure that the viewer in not saddened by the ending and that everyone leaves with a smile.

But one day, I was watching a romantic movie and I realised that I was no longer afraid that the situation for the girl as well as the boy was not good, because I had this unknown surety in me that everything will be fine and that they would end up together; that all the problems would be resolved and they would get to be together. But why and how was I so sure? It was then, at that very moment that I realised what it would be like to not have a happy ending. Would it still be called a movie?
I wondered and wondered about it, and I was surprised at how sad it made me just to think that a thing like ‘unhappy ending’ might exist. Why? Of course because of the way I was brought up, the way we all are, believing that all in life either is or will be good.

Now, I look around myself and I see so many ‘unhappy endings.Hearts getting broken, faith shaken, trust broken and pain being carried around by everyone; pain, that came from hope, and hope that came from a belief of ‘happy endings.’ I am not trying to imply that there are no happy endings. That would be an incorrect assessment. I am only emphasising that every story does not necessarily have a happy ending, everyone isn’t as lucky to spend a lifetime with their beloved, situations aren’t that simple, and the solution isn’t always in front of you. Sometimes, you get to live the other story; a story where everything is not fine, and where you have to live with that.

All of this is also not to imply that we can’t be happy. Happiness does not depend on our situation, it depends on us, it depends on how ready we are to face the worst of situations, fail, rise and still smile. But you must note, you create your own happiness, it isn’t served to you on a plate.

So, do you have it in you to see the good in the bad?

Why I Read

Remember when you used to be a small kid, and every night before sleeping you wanted to listen to a story? Remember wanting to be a part of those stories, imagining yourself in the world of fairies and dragons and chocolate houses? Of course you do. It was the best of your childhood, because you got a chance to imagine yourself in another world, you got a chance to feel magical, and a chance to be someone else.
Reading is just the same for me. A book is my escape from reality, it is my way of taking a break, and losing myself in another world. Yeah, it may not necessarily have fairies and dragons, but there is a different story always, there are different characters, different situations and plots, and to be able to imagine yourself as a part of those stories
(if only to observe), that, in itself is magic. So yes, the element of magic never really diminishes, and that’s the best part.
Sometimes (for me, most often) we find ourselves relating to fictional characters better than to people in our real lives, and we find ourselves attached more to characters in a story that we won’t ever get to meet more than the people we’ve already met. Some people think that this is sad, I ask why. I feel it’s beautiful to be able to love fictional characters, to be able to love someone you knowWhat-CEOs-Are-Reading-1536x1536-200_Standard doesn’t exist and to be able to love someone you’ll never meet. It shows that you are capable of unconditional love, and that, is not sad. It’s actually the opposite of it. A book, is not just a book, it is knowledge, stories, words, everything knitted together elegantly. It is a different world altogether, and taking a trip to another world, living another story for a while is sometimes all that you really need.
So, take a book, any book. Open it, read and enjoy.

Let’s Come Out

Equality. Does this word only have a political meaning? Equal right, equal treatment, are these the only things this word is limited to?
Democratic countries claim to have equality within their nations, and they claim to provide equal treatment to all. In other words, they claim that citizens of their countries are treated as equals in all respects. This might be true for some countries, but it is not true for all of those who claim the above.
Here, I stand to say that many countries in the world that make such claims do not stand upto them. Or at least the people of those countries don’t. I am stating this in context to the LGBT community. LGBT, the community of Lesbians, Gay people, Bisexual people and Transgenders, is a very famous communtiy that exists to support the rights of such people. While this is a beautiful initiative to support those in minority in terms of their sexuality, at the same time, some people choose to not accept a community or ideas of such a community simply because they think it is not ‘natural.’
On 26th June 2015, the United States of America took a bold step to support the LGBT community. It ruled that any kind of ban on same-sex marriage is unconstitutional, and hence, legalised same-sex marriage. This was the farthest point to which anyone had supported this community. And today, people get to be with whoever they want, not having to worry about getting married if they belong to the same sex. Many people are now not judged for having a sexuality that was not accepted before. But does this mean the problem ends here? The U.S legalised same-sex marriage, but what about other countries?
While the U.S whole-heartedly stands in the favour of this community, many countries don’t. And it is not the government that I mean to refer to. The government is the next level. I am referring to people, and the views and opinions they hold regarding this community. As sad as it is, even today, there are many countries in which it is the people themselves who do not support such ideas. Some people don’t simply not support the idea of this community, but they also oppose it.
Me, I am a true supporter. But this does not mean that I’ll be willing to argue with someone who doesn’t promote the values of this community. They have the right to hold their opinion and I am no one to stop them from having those views. But those who oppose, those who interfere in the lives of such people, those who harm such people, verbally or physically just for being different, they have no right to do so. Nobody can take the freedom of others, or harm others on the claim that what they do or the ideals they promote are not ‘natural.’
In many countries today, gay people, lesbians, transgenders, bisexuals feel ashamed of accepting this truth about themselves? Why? Why is it that when they discover their sexuality as being different, the first thought that comes to their mind is that of panic? It is because of the people. It is because of us, and the ideals we promote, the ideals that alienate such people from the human community, the ideals that even make people hate themselves for being different. Why do people have to make such people feel abnormal?
As a fear of not being accepted in the society if the truth came out, many people keep it to themselves, some refuse to accept and the stress that it puts on them is severe. Imagine being in a place where you are not considered a human just because you are not exactly like the others.
It is not them who have to change, it is us. It is not our ideals that humiliate them that should be promoted, it is theirs who make the world a better place, and attempt to harmonise everyone and give everyone the freedom to choose who they wish to be, regardless of the fact that they are of the same sex or not.
Let us be truly equal, let us promote equality and not de-humanise such people. Let us change, because in the end, it is our thinking that matters.

Writer’s Block

Many of us aspire to become writers. Many of us do become writers. It is always said that to be a good writer, you need to have a deep understanding of everything around you and you need to be able to express it beautifully in writing. Any one who understands the meaning of the world, and the depth of life but is not able to express it, or any one who can write but does not truly understand the depth of everything cannot be called a good writer. This is what I’ve been told, and I believe it to be true. A good writer comes with the entire package.

But this does not mean that a good writer does not face any challenges. Sometimes, a writer might get an urge to write something, anything, but he/she in not quite able to figure out what to write on. Or sometimes, in the middle of a story, a writer might get stuck trying to figure out where to take the story, because nothing is coming to his/her mind. This is writer’s block. It is a condition, one where a writer is not able to pen down his/her thoughts, and is not able to put forth their true expression about something. It is a documented problem.
Many professional writers have been a victim of this condition. These include Joseph Mitchell, F. Scott Fitzgerald and Herman Melville.
I can only imagine how frustrating it might be to have so much to say and so much to express, but not being able to do it. It would be like wanting to sing but being unable to produce a single sound. Although many causes of this condition exist, which include lack of internal as well as external motivation, failure in relationships, stress, physical deterioration, lack of inspiration, there are many treatments as well, some as simple as group discussions, brainstorming, clustering and some as complicated as writing questions for a writer to enable their writing expression to flow.

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Writer’s block is a serious condition, and it is not to be considered failing to understand what to write on on one, maybe two occasions. That is natural. Writer’s block is a rather prolonged problem, which can ruin the careers of the most popular writers if not attended to in time.