THE NIGHT SKY

“Tonight, the love affair is between you and that sky.”

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You are standing on top of a hill. It’s night time, and the sky is dark and beautiful. There are millions of stars that you can’t stop looking at. As you stare into the beautiful night sky, you realize how easily you can keep looking at it forever, how you never really want to take your eyes off it. You find a patch of grass, and it smells fresh. You sit down, still staring.
When you look into the unending sky, you can’t help but smile at how irrelevant your problems seem at the moment. It’s completely quiet, and the dark sky with stars like silver jewels on it makes you wonder into everything that you otherwise couldn’t. You know that as you keep looking, something starts to feel better.
You experience solace, a feeling of contentment. You don’t think about the assignment you have to turn in next week and didn’t even start working on, you don’t think about how your social life is deteriorating because you just can’t be around people anymore, and you don’t think of the person who broke every inch of you, tore right through your heart, and destroyed you completely. No. Tonight, it is just you and the beautiful dark sky with a million stars. The poems tonight are not going to be about how your soul feels empty as the one you loved left you heartbroken; they are going to be about how magnificent the sky is, how you wish to embrace it, and never let it out of your sight. Tonight, the love affair is between you and that sky. You think of nothing else, and no one else.
As you continue staring into the vast sky, you begin wondering. About life, about yourself. You think of how you ended up where you are, what went wrong, what could have been done to fix it. You are thinking everything you think everyday, but something is different about tonight. Despite endless nights of thinking there is no escape from this dark tunnel you seem to have lost yourself in, you now see a light. You don’t conclude in despair, and hopelessness, tonight is about hope. If these stars can manage to shine this bright every night, and bring beauty to an otherwise empty sky, you can surely find an exit to your dark tunnel. The exit doesn’t have to be big, even a small escape would do, because you now believe you can leave. You now believe that there can be an end to those sleepless nights where you end up loathing everything about yourself, where you can’t stop feeling that you’re just not doing enough, where you can’t stop wondering just how lifeless you have become. Looking at the sky, you know there is more to it than surviving. There’s living. At this point, you think of things you have to look forward to, slowly letting go of the past that haunts you. You feel yourself moving away from the chains you thought you could never let go of. You keeping moving farther and farther away from those chains, as you keep wondering.
And there it is. That one moment. The moment that practically changes every thought you had about your life. In this moment, everything is so clear to you that tears start to well up in your eyes, for you had longed for this moment for years. You cry also at how silly you were to think everything in your life was just plain gray, without color. And then you smile, and now you know. Everything in your life that felt like a tornado ready to destroy you anytime, dies down, and now you know.
As you reach that light you were chasing at the end of the tunnel, you realize that this night might end, but your affair with this night sky is going to last forever. You smile, because everything is now so peaceful, and you simply close your eyes, and lie there till the night is gone.

 

 

Happy Endings

‘Pain that came from hope, and hope that came from a belief of happy endings.’

Growing up, we have all listened to stories and watched movies that used to have happy endings. “And they lived happily ever after.” We have seen how the princess is in trouble, but the prince comes and saves the day, and they both fall in love, get married and promise to love each other forever.
When I was a little girl, I used to love the thought of ‘forever.’ It provided a guarantee that the happiness and the perfection of the situation never changed. I used to feel bad when the girl in the story was hurting, not knowing whether it would end happily, and scared that it might not. Especially born and raised in India, Bollywood has made sure that the viewer in not saddened by the ending and that everyone leaves with a smile.

But one day, I was watching a romantic movie and I realised that I was no longer afraid that the situation for the girl as well as the boy was not good, because I had this unknown surety in me that everything will be fine and that they would end up together; that all the problems would be resolved and they would get to be together. But why and how was I so sure? It was then, at that very moment that I realised what it would be like to not have a happy ending. Would it still be called a movie?
I wondered and wondered about it, and I was surprised at how sad it made me just to think that a thing like ‘unhappy ending’ might exist. Why? Of course because of the way I was brought up, the way we all are, believing that all in life either is or will be good.

Now, I look around myself and I see so many ‘unhappy endings.Hearts getting broken, faith shaken, trust broken and pain being carried around by everyone; pain, that came from hope, and hope that came from a belief of ‘happy endings.’ I am not trying to imply that there are no happy endings. That would be an incorrect assessment. I am only emphasising that every story does not necessarily have a happy ending, everyone isn’t as lucky to spend a lifetime with their beloved, situations aren’t that simple, and the solution isn’t always in front of you. Sometimes, you get to live the other story; a story where everything is not fine, and where you have to live with that.

All of this is also not to imply that we can’t be happy. Happiness does not depend on our situation, it depends on us, it depends on how ready we are to face the worst of situations, fail, rise and still smile. But you must note, you create your own happiness, it isn’t served to you on a plate.

So, do you have it in you to see the good in the bad?

Holding on or letting go?

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One question that I’ve always found to bother me is who is stronger, the one who keeps holding on tightly, in the name of hope, or the one who lets everything go, not knowing what lies ahead.
I mean to address this question in context to life and death, or rather continuing to live, or committing suicide. Suicide, is a word that is not so uncommon these days. Why? It is because our lives have become so complex and situations tend to get out of control. But wait, is it that our lives have become complex, or that we have made them?
In today’s first moving world, the biggest driving or motivating force is competing. It is a natural desire within all of us to be better than the rest, to be the best and beat everybody else. This being the biggest driving force is so commonly found everywhere, you would find competition between kids belonging to 1st grade, because we are taught from the very beginning that this world is competitive. It is, and it’s not a bad thing that it is. It should be, but to that extent where the minds of people get so pressurised that they feel ending their lives is the only way out? Certainly not.

Getting back to the question, when things get out of hand, when we are in a situation from which it is getting harder and harder to escape, should we choose to not give up and keep looking, or should we choose to end it all at once? Which option makes us stronger? To be honest, I’ve felt that both of these options require a huge amount of courage. Trying to make things better, to make them work and having faith and hope in various complex situations that life puts in front of us requires just as much strenght and courage as deciding to quit, and to end everything. After all, we are afraid of death just as much as we are afraid of living.
Both of these being equally courageous decisions for me does not mean that I am promoting suicide, or asking people to let go if that is what they feel like. I am just trying to express my disbelief in the statement “People who commit suicide are cowardly.” How can this statement be true, or false? Who are we to have opinion about a situation that we weren’t even in? Nobody. So, how can we say that they are cowardly? Have we been there? No.
As easy as an answer it may seem to the complexity of life, it is not. It never was.
Yes, I agree that there are many times in our lives when we want to give up, but all I want to say is that is not the only option we have. In all the situations, no matter how grave, there is always a way out. It takes a while to find that way, but believe me, it is always there, and it always has been. You just need to be patient enough. Because there is always a bright day around the corner, there is always a chance of rainbow showing itself after a massive storm. There is always hope.

But of course, people think differently. If you have any opinions that you would like to share, please feel free to leave a comment.

Hope

Hope, what is it?

Is it a beam of light in a completely dark room,
Or is it something that will even in your bad times make you bloom?
Maybe something which we call a ‘way’,
Or maybe the the thought of a bright and cheerful day?
Maybe the feeling that you are going to be okay,
Or maybe the thought that you can be the star of the day?
Maybe the sight of the sun sparkling at you in the heaviest rain,
or maybe the remedy that will take away all your pain?
Maybe the stars twinkling at you,
or maybe the moon smiling at you?
Maybe the brightness of the fresh green meadows,
or maybe your crush waving at you?