“Tonight, the love affair is between you and that sky.”

You are standing on top of a hill. It’s night time, and the sky is dark and beautiful. There are millions of stars that you can’t stop looking at. As you stare into the beautiful night sky, you realize how easily you can keep looking at it forever, how you never really want to take your eyes off it. You find a patch of grass, and it smells fresh. You sit down, still staring.
When you look into the unending sky, you can’t help but smile at how irrelevant your problems seem at the moment. It’s completely quiet, and the dark sky with stars like silver jewels on it makes you wonder into everything that you otherwise couldn’t. You know that as you keep looking, something starts to feel better.
You experience solace, a feeling of contentment. You don’t think about the assignment you have to turn in next week and didn’t even start working on, you don’t think about how your social life is deteriorating because you just can’t be around people anymore, and you don’t think of the person who broke every inch of you, tore right through your heart, and destroyed you completely. No. Tonight, it is just you and the beautiful dark sky with a million stars. The poems tonight are not going to be about how your soul feels empty as the one you loved left you heartbroken; they are going to be about how magnificent the sky is, how you wish to embrace it, and never let it out of your sight. Tonight, the love affair is between you and that sky. You think of nothing else, and no one else.
As you continue staring into the vast sky, you begin wondering. About life, about yourself. You think of how you ended up where you are, what went wrong, what could have been done to fix it. You are thinking everything you think everyday, but something is different about tonight. Despite endless nights of thinking there is no escape from this dark tunnel you seem to have lost yourself in, you now see a light. You don’t conclude in despair, and hopelessness, tonight is about hope. If these stars can manage to shine this bright every night, and bring beauty to an otherwise empty sky, you can surely find an exit to your dark tunnel. The exit doesn’t have to be big, even a small escape would do, because you now believe you can leave. You now believe that there can be an end to those sleepless nights where you end up loathing everything about yourself, where you can’t stop feeling that you’re just not doing enough, where you can’t stop wondering just how lifeless you have become. Looking at the sky, you know there is more to it than surviving. There’s living. At this point, you think of things you have to look forward to, slowly letting go of the past that haunts you. You feel yourself moving away from the chains you thought you could never let go of. You keeping moving farther and farther away from those chains, as you keep wondering.
And there it is. That one moment. The moment that practically changes every thought you had about your life. In this moment, everything is so clear to you that tears start to well up in your eyes, for you had longed for this moment for years. You cry also at how silly you were to think everything in your life was just plain gray, without color. And then you smile, and now you know. Everything in your life that felt like a tornado ready to destroy you anytime, dies down, and now you know.
As you reach that light you were chasing at the end of the tunnel, you realize that this night might end, but your affair with this night sky is going to last forever. You smile, because everything is now so peaceful, and you simply close your eyes, and lie there till the night is gone.



Happy Endings

‘Pain that came from hope, and hope that came from a belief of happy endings.’

Growing up, we have all listened to stories and watched movies that used to have happy endings. “And they lived happily ever after.” We have seen how the princess is in trouble, but the prince comes and saves the day, and they both fall in love, get married and promise to love each other forever.
When I was a little girl, I used to love the thought of ‘forever.’ It provided a guarantee that the happiness and the perfection of the situation never changed. I used to feel bad when the girl in the story was hurting, not knowing whether it would end happily, and scared that it might not. Especially born and raised in India, Bollywood has made sure that the viewer in not saddened by the ending and that everyone leaves with a smile.

But one day, I was watching a romantic movie and I realised that I was no longer afraid that the situation for the girl as well as the boy was not good, because I had this unknown surety in me that everything will be fine and that they would end up together; that all the problems would be resolved and they would get to be together. But why and how was I so sure? It was then, at that very moment that I realised what it would be like to not have a happy ending. Would it still be called a movie?
I wondered and wondered about it, and I was surprised at how sad it made me just to think that a thing like ‘unhappy ending’ might exist. Why? Of course because of the way I was brought up, the way we all are, believing that all in life either is or will be good.

Now, I look around myself and I see so many ‘unhappy endings.Hearts getting broken, faith shaken, trust broken and pain being carried around by everyone; pain, that came from hope, and hope that came from a belief of ‘happy endings.’ I am not trying to imply that there are no happy endings. That would be an incorrect assessment. I am only emphasising that every story does not necessarily have a happy ending, everyone isn’t as lucky to spend a lifetime with their beloved, situations aren’t that simple, and the solution isn’t always in front of you. Sometimes, you get to live the other story; a story where everything is not fine, and where you have to live with that.

All of this is also not to imply that we can’t be happy. Happiness does not depend on our situation, it depends on us, it depends on how ready we are to face the worst of situations, fail, rise and still smile. But you must note, you create your own happiness, it isn’t served to you on a plate.

So, do you have it in you to see the good in the bad?